2016: Teaching K to be a person

It’s the new year and so much has just swooshed by from Halloween till the ball dropped in Times Square.  I barely got a chance to catch my breath before stopping long enough to look up and realize that my infant is just a hair’s breath away from toddlerhood.  Wow.  When did this happen?  How can one day seem so long and yet the year just whiz by?

January is the time for making resolutions and as I think about what I want mine to be, aside from the fitness goals I renew each year, K is everywhere in my mind.  What is a good resolution in regards to your baby?  Lots of things seem like given answers.  I’m obviously going to make sure she’s fed well and healthy.  I’d like to think she’s happy, nicely dressed, and well loved.  So then what’s next?  It dawned on me that K is truly a blank slate.  Whatever I do or say in front of her, there’s a good chance she’ll mimic.  She is at that stage where her baby sponge brain is thirstily soaking up every detail about the world she lives in.  And like any good hormonal paranoid first time mom worth her salt, I think about K’s future, and instead of envisioning rainbows or butterflies, I see danger and harm. Have you ever seen the Disney movie “Inside Out”?  If you have, it is interesting to note that the primary emotion driving the mom is Fear.  The baby has Joy and the dad… well his is Anger, but that’s an issue for another day. Hahaha.  Anyway, I think many mommies can relate to this sudden feeling of intense love for your child that can’t help but give birth to, usually rational but sometimes irrational, worry and fear.

As I think about where K is, developmentally, I realize she needs socialization. Interactive playdates. Her first real foray into our crazy world.  And two things jump into my mind.  First, I want her to only be loved. Second, I want her to only learn behavior that will inevitably bring her joy and… love.  To sum it up, I get greedy.

I realize that there is absolutely no amount of shielding or controlling that I can do to achieve these goals that I set for her.  In fact, she may very well and most likely reject my help as she gets older.  And that’s actually what’s supposed to happen.  She needs to learn to navigate and grow in the world on her own.  It’s just that… as a mom… even just imagining it now before anything has even happened… it’s so dang hard. Oh why oh why can’t I bubble wrap her against life? Sigh. So what can I do to help her gain all the joy and love I wish upon her life?  What can I do now so that in the future, she will grow up to be a great person worthy of love? …lightbulb.

I will teach her how to love your child.

My new year’s resolution for 2016 is to teach K to love others the way I want her to be loved.

Parents who are reading this, I promise to raise K to be kind to your child.  I promise to teach her to put out her hand and offer help to your child.  To raise her arm to hug and comfort your child. To hold hands and run, laughing, with your child.  To offer your child food, toys, and turns FIRST before she takes hers and to always be thankful that she knows your child.  To give words of praise and encouragement to your child. To apologize to and forgive your child.  At home, I will love her fiercely and teach her how to love herself so that her cup overflows with that love and she readily extends it to your child.  I will love your child.

I realize that at this point, it may sound like I’m only teaching K to love your child so that ultimately she will be loved in return.  Well… yes.  I am.  My ultimate dreams are for K.  As I’m sure yours are for your own child. But I’d like to think of it more like, I’m teaching her how to live in a world that has other people in it. And I’m thinking that if we all make this promise to raise our children to love one another surely and truly, our dreams for our chidren will be realized. Yours and mine both. So here we come 2016! Open arms and open hearts.

 

 

 

 

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